30 Years of Blessings

My youngest son, Joel, who has autism, turned 30 last week! How to celebrate without over-stimulating his sensory system?  Light bulb moment! Throw a party for family and closest friends at our church, The Oxford Vineyard. Joel loves our little church where 40-50 people worship on any given Sunday. No problem negotiating 30 of Joel’s favorite family and friends into that space without overwhelming the birthday boy!

The day of the party we stacked chairs to open up the center of the room, hung decorations, set up tables and chairs in little seating groups in front of the stage, prepared lots of food, arranged the beautiful Cincinnati Reds-themed cupcakes under the big Reds banner (thank you, Kim, Maria and Jonathon!), and set Joel’s brand-new karaoke machine center stage.

Joel was the star of the show, singing his favorite songs on karaoke, and hanging out with the people he loves best in the whole wide world.

To be honest, when Joel was young I couldn’t envision making it 30 years into this journey with autism. I couldn’t imagine the energy or patience or creativity, or just plain fortitude it would take to make it this far.

Yet here I am, proud mama, shaking my head in wonder as I look back at all the reasons to celebrate.  

To all of you who live with or love young children with disabilities, I promise you this: God will shower blessings into each and every year of your child’s life, even as they negotiate what seem to be insurmountable physical, psychological and emotional obstacles. God will bring blessings into each and every year of your life as you journey with your child, in spite of your doubts and fears and occasional failures.

As I sit and brainstorm 30 years of blessings amassed as we’ve traveled the Autism Detour with our youngest son, Joel Christopher Bolduc, I realize that so many of these blessings have to do with who our son is, not what he has accomplished or produced or won (although there are some of those too!). So here they are, 30 blessings for 30 years:

1. His impish grin  
2. His love for silly hats
3. His special eyebrow wiggle designed to make people laugh
4. His penchant for flirting whenever a cute girl shows up
5. The way he moves on the dance floor ( “I’m gonna break it down for the girls”)
6. The look of pride on his face when he’s onstage with the Best Buddies Friends Choir
7. His sideways hugs
8. The way he sometimes grabs my hand, unexpectedly
9. The softness of his butterfly kisses
10. The way he gently touches my hand when I offer it across the seat as I’m driving
11. The way his face lights up with joy when he sees me
12. His interest in whatever I’m interested in
13. The look of total disbelief and joy on his face when he saw James Taylor, live, on stage
14. The sound of his giggle as he laughs at the waves our pontoon boat makes
15. The way he watches birds at the birdfeeder, with total focus and clarity
16. The way he always says yes to going on a heron hunt
17. The way he talks about his brothers, sister, and sisters-in-law with such love and devotion
18. His deep-down loyalty to his friends, some of whom have been in his life for 25+ years
19. His excitement every single time he sees his grandma, cousins, and aunts & uncles
20. His courage in getting up one Sunday and telling his church how much he loves them
21. His face in worship when he lets go, raises his arms, and steps into the aisle to dance
22. His total absorption whenever the sermon is about the Holy Spirit
23. His spontaneous prayers for people who are hurting
24. His soft and tender hands reaching out to touch someone during a healing service
25. His total honesty even when it’s hard: “It’s time for you to go now, Mom.”
26. His ability, with so few words, to say what’s important: “We need to get out of here!”
27. His transformation from the silent type to funny disc-jockey when handed a microphone
28. His ability to sing the words to hundreds of songs, even though he rarely talks
29. His whispered words to The Lord’s Prayer as we say goodnight on the phone
30. The look of pure love and devotion on his face when I tuck him into bed every Saturday night

C’mon, admit it—where else are you going to experience #30 as a mom with your typical 30-year-old? Or #12, for that matter? Or #10, or #11, or #14, or #19?

All of our children bring so many blessings into our lives–our typical children and our special children. Going through my list 30 years of blessings for Joel, I see in a brand-new light just how unique his blessings are.

So, Happy 30^th Birthday, Joel! You’re my guy! I know Jeremiah 29:11 is true for you just as it’s true for me. I’m so blessed that God just happened to intertwine His plans for you and His plans for me by placing us together as mother and son. I love you! 

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

Reflection Exercise: Find a quiet moment today to sit down and make a list of blessings your special child brings into your life.

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Kathleen Bolduc

The author of four books, including The Spiritual Art of Raising Children with Disabilities (Judson Press, 2014) and Autism & Alleluias, Kathy is also a spiritual director, nature lover, novel reader, YA novel writer, and meditation teacher. She and her husband are the owners of a contemplative retreat center, Cloudland, outside of Oxford, Ohio.

Latest posts by Kathleen Bolduc (see all)

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