Years ago I was attempting to review the Sunday morning sermon with a younger Evan. It came down to one point. That our lives should be all about Jesus. I said to Evan, “Who’s it all about?” His answer? “EVAN!” Yes. Most of our days are all about Evan. But in all honesty I don’t want them to be about Evan or even Jesus. I want them to be all about ME.
Recently, the bible verse 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 is in the public eye for a particular part of that verse. I’ll save that discussion for another day. But what I’m most often affected by in this verse isn’t the part making the headlines, but the part about greed. Jonathon Parnell wrote an article about a year ago for Desiring God that mentions how there is only one area of this verse that is celebrated today, the headline maker. But I beg to differ. I see greed celebrated and encouraged more and more. It’s a consumer-driven, me-time, “all about me” world. And I am no different from the rest of the world.
Except I have Evan.
Evan reminds me every moment of every day it is not about me. Oh, believe me, I fight this feeling with all I have at times. I text my sister often telling her I am so tired of everything being all about everyone else. Just once I want it to be all about me. My sister is a good text-listener and she talks me off the ledge. At least until the next time I feel overwhelmed.
It’s really difficult to not list all of the things I wish I could be doing sometimes. Evan has reached the age that if he was a typically developing kid he would be out doing his own thing by now. I get caught up in the Facebook world of what his peer’s parents are doing, buying and loving in this world with the freedom of not being so tied down. I know, I know, Fakebook isn’t always the real world. But it is a glimpse into what others are doing while my special needs world keeps me locked down quite a bit. It is times like this I have to remind myself that maybe God really did know what he was doing by giving me my Evan. My days really aren’t supposed to be all about me.
They aren’t supposed to be about me at all.
John 13:14-17 “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.”
If Jesus is the model that God has given us then what did he do when he pulled away. Did he travel the world to just see the sights? Did he go shoe shopping? I’m no biblical scholar. (Umm, extreme understatement, I am aware.) But I do remember that the times Jesus did pull away from others was to pray or to be found in the temple, not the mall or sun bathing. I don’t remember him saying anything about deserving some me-time. If anyone was overwhelmed with the needs of others it was Jesus. Once people knew of his healing powers he was in some demand.
I don’t have healing powers. But I am in demand within my family. They need me. Almost 24/7. I am learning to be okay with this. It’s where God has placed me. He will give me the rest I need, when I need it, if I go to him first. I can be a bit of a whiner when I reach my limit. Thankfully, God has given me a husband that sees my need for a few hours of alone time here and there. What I need to learn is I might get more out of that time if I used it the way Jesus did rather than in the ways of the world. Jesus recharged best this way. Maybe I should give it a go too. Rather than it being all about me.
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