In a perfect world, I would be patiently doing many hours of therapy each day with my son and in a perfect world, he would be meeting milestone after milestone. Then there's reality. Calvin is one of five kids who need me, he is not "catching up" developmentally, and some days it's all I can do to manage his medical needs while meeting the needs of my family. For too long, I've added up the … [Read more...]
Using Grief for Good
Do you ever get tired of the persistent emotions of parenting a child with special needs? There are many times I am so tired of all the emotions that inevitably come along with caring for Calvin who is often sick and deals with severe disabilities. I want to pack my bags and move from on out from Sadness to Joy, permanently. Don't get me wrong, there is lots of love, shenanigans, … [Read more...]
Mother’s Day — It’s Complicated
I sat in the folding chair at my kid's school today, grinning at my son and daughter up on the stage. It was the annual Mother's Day program and my heart overflowed watching them—my son staring at me unwaveringly and my daughter sneaking shy glances my way. Next to me my other son, Calvin, sat in his wheelchair, listening to the kid's voices fill the gym. He grinned his signature side-smile at … [Read more...]
Please stop telling me to take care of myself (+10 Ways to Help a SN Parent)
I get it. When you stop for a moment and say, “Take care of yourself, OK?” you’re telling me you care. And I’m so glad you stopped instead of walking by. But can I let you in on something? I’m trying to take care of myself, really I am. On days where my son’s health is decently stable I think I actually do. I exercise, cook meals, do laundry, pick up kids and even sneak in an extra long … [Read more...]
There Is Grace in Disability
The world of disability is rampant with opinions. Some friends of mine get angry if you suggest a disability is a negative thing, instead they suggest we should celebrate it. I suppose it must vary depending on how the child is affected—for us disability has meant tremendous loss. Our son Calvin, a young boy of 6, struggles with chronic lung disease, spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy, and a … [Read more...]
Family Devotions: A Secret Strength for Special Needs Families
Throughout the history of the church, a family's main way of teaching their kids the truths of God was through family worship. Fathers and mothers would lead their family in the morning with reading from the Bible and praying together. At night the family would often gather around the dinner table and be trained in the catechism, memorizing of scripture, and join lively discussions centered on the … [Read more...]