Anxiety and parenting seem to go hand in hand. They’re like peanut butter and jelly only messier. And stickier. But when your kids have a knack for going AWOL in two seconds flat in the grocery store, anxiety becomes far too familiar. Reading about when Jesus’ parents lost him in Jerusalem when he was twelve was, I have to admit, kind of reassuring. They understood my experience on at least one … [Read more...]
Victory in the Seeming Loss of Special Needs Advocacy
It was a verbal game of chess. Winner takes all. If my son won the argument, we would return home. If I won, we would get out of the car and walk into the church. When John added a new reason why he didn’t want to go inside, I was sure he’d made a fatal mistake. He said he felt “stood up,” as he attended church each week. I countered with a correction, “’Stood up’ means showing up and no one is … [Read more...]
Retreating in God’s Hands: respite for the special needs parent
Hands have always been a special symbol and image of love for me. It wasn’t until I recognized my grandfather’s once-familiar, farm-hardened, weathered hands, gently laid one over the other in a pose of rest at his funeral, that I finally knew this man really was the same one I had adored all my life. It was only then I was able to say goodbye. My grandmother’s gift to me that same day was his … [Read more...]
Muddy Paws & Love: What matters in special needs parenting
In the Anderson household three things tell us spring has sprung: sticky floors (from making maple syrup); muddy boots and paw trails from thawing snow; and anxiety storms erupting from the transition of school to summer. Whether its constantly cleaning spring-time floors or managing transition meltdowns, life isn’t easy and is usually full of errors (I submit exhibit A: the two pots with … [Read more...]
Pick Your Battles: when losing doesn’t have to mean loss
Parenting experts have been known to quip the phrase “pick your battles.” In my experience as a special needs parent, however, the problem isn’t just about which battles to fight, but knowing when it’s okay to lose. Long ago I surrendered the battle with my autistic sons over a healthy diet in favor of settling for almost anything that would keep my picky, OCD eaters alive and breathing. … [Read more...]
Healing Prayers and Promises in Disability Parenting
I just finished reading a national bestseller on prayer that, frankly, was very hard to finish. What grieved me most was a story about a pastor who counseled a young couple of a child with autism. The pastor opened his Bible to a random page, read a random passage of scripture about Abraham’s offspring forever speaking God’s word, and then claimed it as a promise that this couple’s nonverbal child … [Read more...]