A month ago I took a huge risk with my special needs family. And it paid off. It began almost twenty years ago when, as a 21 year old exchange student in Europe, I discovered the needs of people across the globe through weekly prayer meetings. My heart began to beat for villages with no clean water, societal violence toward women, entire groups of people ignored and left to die because of their … [Read more...]
Letting Special Needs Kids Grow Up
Parked at a crowded curb in front of the middle school, I watch as my girls get out of the van, tie shoes, check hair in the side window, glance to see if anyone they know is nearby. I should drive away, I think. I should leave and make space for another family to unload their kids. But it's not just the parking spot. It's the admission my girls are growing up. They walk away from the minivan. … [Read more...]
God Has Not Forgotten You
Two years ago I walked into her math class and stood along the edge in the back, where the mom of the kid who isn't good at math stands for awards ceremonies. Over the minutes that followed, I wasn't surprised my daughter's name wasn't called. It's not that I don't believe in her, it's just that I'd seen the tears, shredded papers, broken pencils and massive meltdowns that were her experience … [Read more...]
Special Needs Parent, You Still Matter
I’m going to tell you something now, and you might want to sit down before I do: You still matter. And not just matter—you are precious. Author Julie Barnhill reminds us that this is true, even amidst painful circumstances: “God watched over our construction from toes to fingertips to hair roots, and he has designed each of us to be exquisite, unequaled, and beyond compare. But it will always be … [Read more...]
Crucial Truth About Special Needs and Adoption
She turned thirteen this week. That's ten birthdays together. . . thousands of days and experiences since the day my oldest daughter moved into my home. On her birthdays, when I look through her baby pictures and reminisce, there is this gap. We've got just six pictures of her life from birth to 2 1/2 years. In those moments, the reality of loss, special needs and adoption feels so acute. Most … [Read more...]
A Letter To My Adopted Child’s Reactive Attachment Disorder
Dear Reactive Attachment Disorder, You are not my favorite person right now. In fact, you're a bully and I'm still waiting for you to move out of my house. You've bound my girl for ten years, already. Isn't that enough? Yes, you kept her alive for a short season. Yes, you helped her cope when life bounced her from home to home those first years. I get it. But ever since then, you've been a loud, … [Read more...]