"Oh, my. You have your hands full." I've heard it. It's been said to me too many times to count. Go on, hands up. I know it has been said to you, too. How many of you have had heard this, not just once, but so many well-meaning times? There is no doubt in my mind, people, special needs has me surrounded. But, it's not what you're thinking. My open mouth/insert foot thing to say to these people … [Read more...]
The Weight of Loving Someone with Great Need
This Weight. It's heavy. The weight of special needs was something we've gotten used to along the way. It was gradual, never too life threatening. But this. It's daunting. We long to be at home, away from the hospital, but there is no doubt being home, alone, is its own kind of hard. When I was young I remember thinking how difficult it is to keep a baby alive. Oh, young, naive Stephanie. Silly … [Read more...]
Letting Go of the Hurt
Let it Go. It's a bit of a theme song in our house. We sing that Frozen song for ev-er-y-thing. I am super great about telling everyone in my house when they need to 'let it go.' (Noticing only the faults of others; it's an unfortunate skill I have.) But, me? Letting go of the hurt, I don't have anything to let go of, right? I follow one of those special needs parent pages on Facebook. It's a … [Read more...]
Is God Still Good When Your News Isn’t?
I read someone else's good news with a little bit of sting in my heart. All of the responses were filled with joy. (As they should have been.) More than a few read, "God is so good." Yeah, God is good when the news is good. But what about when the news isn't all we had hoped it would be? Is God still good when your news isn't? I hope people aren't thinking God isn't as good here because things … [Read more...]
Bigger Than Me
There are days I don't know what to pray. This whole thing is so much bigger, scarier, than I ever could have imagined. I don't even know which way I want it go. This is bigger than me. I've always had a pretty good handle on medical terms. And special needs was something we finally felt comfortable in. Nothing we dealt with was too emergent. I had time to research, ask, or Google!, to my … [Read more...]
Giving God Control Even in Special Needs
It was never mine to begin with. This life I live was never all mine. I gave it to Christ a long time ago. I told him to use me, use my kids, my life, use whatever he needed. I've prayed prayers asking God to use me in bigger ways than inside the walls of my house. And, remember the song I sang asking for the Holy Spirit to lead me where my trust is without those same borders? Well, here I am. … [Read more...]