Autism awareness through the eyes of Jesus? During Autism Awareness Month, I like to remind myself and those who know and love someone with autism to look at that child or adult through the eyes of Jesus. Changing one’s gaze explodes preconceptions and shifts paradigms in a powerful way. The following was written when my son Joel was ten years old. He is now 31. This is a vision I go back to, time and again, when it seems like our family takes ten steps forward in this walk with autism only to fall five steps back. I pray it blesses you today.
At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a child, whom he put among them, and said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:1-4
One of my daily prayer practices is to visualize Jesus sitting on the edge of Joel’s bed, laying holy hands on my son’s head. Together they sing songs, read books, tell jokes. Always, healing occurs.
Centering down in prayer one day, I saw a different picture. Jesus, sitting on the floor, in the middle of Joel’s classroom which was composed of children with various disabilities. All the children gathered around. The teachers stood nearby, transfixed. Joel sat next to Jesus, reaching up and touching his hair, caressing his cheek. Taylor hung on one arm, jumping up and down. Teddy stood behind, arms wound tightly around Jesus’ neck. Justin, who is not mobile, was cradled on Jesus’ lap; and Thomas, who seldom looks anyone in the eye, stared intently into Jesus’ face. The room reverberated with Trevor’s excited shrieks and Daniel’s monotone song.
As this amazing scene unfolded, Joel took Jesus’ hand into his own. Such a large hand in the small hand of my son. Joel examined that hand, the hand that fashioned the heavens and the earth, as if it were as common as his father’s. Finding a small scratch, he leaned down and kissed it.
“Hurt,” Joel said. Tenderly he kissed it again.
“Thank you,” Jesus replied seriously. “Feels better already!”
“Hurt,” Joel insisted. “Band-Aid.”
Jesus looked up at the teacher and nodded. She went to the closet, got the Band-Aids, and handed the box to Jesus. He gave one to Joel.
Fingers fumbling, Joel tried to pull off the wrapper. Lacking the fine motor control needed for the task, he whined in frustration. Jesus helped, patiently guiding Joel’s fingers to place the Band-Aid on the scratch.
Such a simple gesture. So childlike, this concern with someone’s hurt. It pierced my heart, and with the piercing came new understanding.
Despite his disabilities, maybe even because of them, Joel is a clear channel of God’s love. A conduit unblocked by worldly fears, preoccupations, idols, and cares.
I wondered. What would my reaction be, if confronted with the living Christ? Would I stammer and stutter in self-consciousness? Search for words, and find none worthy of his hearing? Slink to the back of the crowd, afraid of embarrassing myself? Probably.
Through this vision, God opened a window in my clouded and imperfect vision of the world. My son, whom I had viewed as broken, greeted the living Christ with a kiss. A kiss to the hand that was nailed to the cross two thousand years ago. A child, a child with autism and multiple disabilities, ministering to the Lord.
What is brokenness?
What is wholeness?
Surely, in the eyes of his Lord, my son is perfectly whole.
Lord, help me relinquish my fear, my impatience, my yearning for wholeness as the world knows wholeness. Let me see the presence of the kingdom in the simple gestures of everyday life with Joel.
The beautiful work of art above, by Sister Mary Grace Thul is entitled “The BandAid.” It hangs in our prayer room , a constant reminder not only of the Lord’s presence in Joel’s life, but also of the gifts Joel (and his friends with differing abilities) brings to the body of Christ.
Excerpted from His Name Is Joel: Searching for God in a Son’s Disability, available at katlhleenbolduc.com
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My daughter is almost 25. She has autism and several other problems, including uncontrolled seizures. She functions at a low 18 months. And she loves Jesus. Probably more than I do. A friend once remarked that Anna has a relationship we will never have with Jesus until we get to heaven because she has no concept of sin.
I have to confess, I do not see her as a blessing for me. But God uses her to bless others. It still astonishes me, after all these years, how she touches peoples’ hearts. Once, when I was asking her, “Why don’t you bless ME?” I felt God’s answer IMMEDIATELY in my heart. “She’s not here to bless you. You are the caregiver of MY instrument of blessing. *I* choose who she blesses.”
What could I say? God chooses what He does with His creation. It reminds me of what’s written in Romans 9, about the creation asking the creator, why did you make me like this? So, I say, yes, Lord, and try to keep going and do my best. But man, it’s exhausting.
Pam, I understand what you mean about the exhausting part! I have been there. It sounds as if God blesses you through watching your daughter bless others. Keep your eyes and heart open to how she does that. I pray one day you may be caught up in the blessing yourself!
Thank you! And I made that comment on a particularly hard day. Forgive me. I do see blessings for me. My Anna loves me unconditionally – all the time. No matter how grumpy I am. 🙂
I love this article! As a Christian, I believe God makes no mistakes. Autism is a difference, not a disease, and I believe autism is part of God’s plan for humanity. A truly inspiring story.
Thanks, Nicole! Jesus definitely turns the world’s ideas upside down! I’m thankful for all Joel has taught me about the Kingdom of God!
One of my greatest worries for my autistic grandson who is nine and nonverbal has always been how can we teach him that Christ died for him? How can he accept Christ as his savior and live a Christ-led life? I do believe that Christ meets us wherever we are there are no sons he won’t forgive if we repent. I have prayed and prayed that he understands what we have tried to teach him and that my faith is strong enough to know that God sees children quite differently and judges those who are limited by illnesses over which they have no control as blameless in His sight and welcomes then into His kingdom where the chains that have bound them are gone at last. In the meantime, I will continue to pray for the gift of communication for my precious grandson!
Thanks for commenting, Sue. I find John 15, and the parable of the Vine and the Branches, to be really helpful. It’s not the “head” stuff that’s important in this walk of faith – it’s learning to abide in the vine. I think our kids are really, really talented at just abiding!
So very beautiful!
Thank you, Laura!