What fruit do you have? That is what someone asked me once. I didn't know what they were talking about at first. I was thinking real life fruit that I eat? They laughed a little and said, "no the fruit of the spirit." I started to recite out loud Galations 5:22: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control … [Read more...]
Victory in the Seeming Loss of Special Needs Advocacy
It was a verbal game of chess. Winner takes all. If my son won the argument, we would return home. If I won, we would get out of the car and walk into the church. When John added a new reason why he didn’t want to go inside, I was sure he’d made a fatal mistake. He said he felt “stood up,” as he attended church each week. I countered with a correction, “’Stood up’ means showing up and no one is … [Read more...]
Retreating in God’s Hands: respite for the special needs parent
Hands have always been a special symbol and image of love for me. It wasn’t until I recognized my grandfather’s once-familiar, farm-hardened, weathered hands, gently laid one over the other in a pose of rest at his funeral, that I finally knew this man really was the same one I had adored all my life. It was only then I was able to say goodbye. My grandmother’s gift to me that same day was his … [Read more...]
Pick Your Battles: when losing doesn’t have to mean loss
Parenting experts have been known to quip the phrase “pick your battles.” In my experience as a special needs parent, however, the problem isn’t just about which battles to fight, but knowing when it’s okay to lose. Long ago I surrendered the battle with my autistic sons over a healthy diet in favor of settling for almost anything that would keep my picky, OCD eaters alive and breathing. … [Read more...]
When Life Is Not a Hallmark Card
It’s true. Misery loves company. And probably the reason one of my favorite shows is The Middle, a sitcom about the misadventures of a mid-western family not very unlike my own. Duct-taped appliances? Special needs teens and a seat-of-the-pants mother? Check. It’s a show that makes me laugh because the Hecks (or rather their script writers) “get it”. Life is a daily walk into the precarious … [Read more...]
Are You There God?
Often times when things are going good we don’t talk to God as much, but when things start to crumble we look to Him and often ask “why” or “how come.” My journey through life in my 46 years so far has had some ups, downs, curves, twists, turns, and sometimes sharp drops out of nowhere. I grew up primarily in a divorced home with 2 parents that were struggling in their own right. Before age … [Read more...]