Parenting is synonymous with change. Our children grow and learn; they achieve and alter. And when they are special needs children, their bodies and abilities are in constant evolution. Change is rarely comfortable. Jesse’s original diagnoses include PDD-NOS, ODD, OCD, and ADHD. Some of those acronyms will change as he grows. Some – if God sees fit – might disappear. New ones could be added. … [Read more...]
God Has Not Wired Us To Quit
It was quiet. Finally. I had no reason to trust that it would last. Max was in his bed, sleeping perhaps, sweat still on his brow. I was sure the house was moving, or maybe I just couldn’t get my sea legs. There is a part of me that goes numb on nights like this, weeks like this one. My tired brain just can’t yawn open wide enough to let it all in. My precious son; he is gentle of … [Read more...]
The Pressure Cooker Effect
In May our daughter, her husband, and their fourteen-month-old moved into the upstairs of the roomy, old farmhouse where my husband and I live. With their arrival our quiet, empty nester lives were dramatically altered. I couldn't be happier. Over the summer I observed how parenthood has changed my daughter and her husband. They are no longer young adults in single-minded pursuit of their own … [Read more...]
Commitment Is Such a Lonely Word
One of my favorite Billy Joel songs is “Honesty.” Though it was written nearly 40 years ago, it still is relevant today. If you’ve never heard it, the theme relates to how honesty is such a lonely word, that everyone (well, most everyone) is so untrue. In our world, where we rely on so many people to support Ben’s care and development, honesty can be a problem. Mostly, it’s the small things … [Read more...]
Are You “Ghosting” Your Child?
"Mom! Mommy! Mama! MAAAAA!" On top of that, it does something terrible to my child. It shouts right back, “You AREN’T important to me.” I am telling my child that her needs aren’t a priority. Her concerns are insignificant. I don’t care. Epiphany My eldest child, now in college, unwittingly brought this to my attention recently. She described what she is learning in one of her communications … [Read more...]
Special Needs Humble Pie
I got a big helping of that special needs Humble Pie last week. You may have been there yourself before. Maybe it was the public meltdown stares. Or people wondering with perturbed looks surrounding public restroom issues. Possibly, you've been in a special needs situation that has been a bit humbling. They come often. So often, in fact, I am pretty used to them. Special needs is humbling. But … [Read more...]