Parenting experts have been known to quip the phrase “pick your battles.” In my experience as a special needs parent, however, the problem isn’t just about which battles to fight, but knowing when it’s okay to lose. Long ago I surrendered the battle with my autistic sons over a healthy diet in favor of settling for almost anything that would keep my picky, OCD eaters alive and breathing. … [Read more...]
Healing Prayers and Promises in Disability Parenting
I just finished reading a national bestseller on prayer that, frankly, was very hard to finish. What grieved me most was a story about a pastor who counseled a young couple of a child with autism. The pastor opened his Bible to a random page, read a random passage of scripture about Abraham’s offspring forever speaking God’s word, and then claimed it as a promise that this couple’s nonverbal child … [Read more...]
When Life Is Not a Hallmark Card
It’s true. Misery loves company. And probably the reason one of my favorite shows is The Middle, a sitcom about the misadventures of a mid-western family not very unlike my own. Duct-taped appliances? Special needs teens and a seat-of-the-pants mother? Check. It’s a show that makes me laugh because the Hecks (or rather their script writers) “get it”. Life is a daily walk into the precarious … [Read more...]
Thanksgiving: Finding God in the turmoil of special needs parenting
My daughter once accused her older brother of opening his eyes during dinner prayer, not realizing, of course, she implicated herself in the process. Classic. But last week the violator of the “Super-Spiritual Guide to Prayer Protocol” wasn’t 10 years old, she was 49. Guilty as charged, I opened my eyes mid-prayer when a woman in my prayer group said a surprising thing: “Thank you, God, for the … [Read more...]
Uncertainty in a Special Needs Life: surviving its ups and downs
Yesterday I uttered two words I have never said side by side in the same sentence: “Good IEP.” In all my years as a special needs mother, those two words are about as unlikely a duo as, “happy hemorrhoid” or “joyful jogging.” But there it was. My response to my husband’s query about our 20-year-old’s annual IEP review. “It was good,” I repeated, still amazed these words had managed to come … [Read more...]
Take a Time Out: making time for self-care in the special needs family
While Jesus may not have known the 24/7 demands of parenthood (around the clock feedings, diaper changes, doctor’s visits, play dates and IEP meetings), He did understand the demands of being constantly needed by others. He knew what it was to need to find a time and a place to be alone. Yet in spite of the never-ending needs of others and the very good causes, Jesus knew when to when to press … [Read more...]