In the gymnasium at North Bend Elementary, a smallish school in a mostly agrarian county in northeast Maryland, we parents sat packed together in tight rows. We were prepping for a transition. In the front of the gym, on the floor, were rows of children from kindergarten through fourth grade. They were present as witnesses to this celebration of the fifth graders. Today, the school would laud … [Read more...]
Plagues of People, Safety in Numbers
Children on the autism spectrum usually fall in one of two camps when it comes to their feelings about crowds: crowds are either an audience or a plague. For Jesse, crowds are an audience. He loves to mug, and show off, and recite what he knows about things of no interest to the listener. For Noah, crowds are a plague. This makes it a challenge to plan a wedding when both boys are also a part … [Read more...]
When the Disability’s Not So “Bad”
I feel guilty about a very strange thing. Not about something I’ve done, but about something I was given. Today, I want to hold my hand up and shield people from paying attention to this part of my life; here, in this particular community of parents who struggle daily with special needs, and never-ending vigilance. A few codes in our neurologist’s office indicate I’ve every right to be among you … [Read more...]
The Googolplex of Disability, or, How Many Times I Have to Repeat Myself
I’m going to be honest. I took high school calculus because my best friend was taking it, and I needed to prove I was as smart as she was. I was very insecure, and what’s worse, I hated math. But I did get something good from all those numbers: a B- and a neat little tidbit: A “googol” is 10 to the power of 100. The “googolplex” is significantly larger: 10 to the power of a googol - 10googol, or … [Read more...]
When Our Children with Disabilities Rise to the Occasion
(For Dana) T.S. Eliot wrote that April is the “cruellest month.” Not for me. I find it’s barren February, with its unkind cold, and in which month I have known too many men of character who have died recently, and long past. At 6’7” with a perpetual mustache, bright blue eyes, and a voice like a thunderclap, Boyd Salsbury cut an imposing profile. His demeanor was gruff, his words carefully … [Read more...]
Saving Up the Hard Stuff
“So much will change,” they say, pointing to your swollen belly, nearly giddy with the kind of knowledge that only experience supplies. “Your life will never be the same!” I know, you think smugly. I’ve heard it, I’ve read it, it’s the mantra you mothers all repeat. But they’re right, of course. While things will change, many of those changes are expected: those that arise from the training of … [Read more...]