“I can’t believe that her son is already talking. I’m still struggling to get mine to say his first words!”
“Look at that mom taking all of those pictures of her daughter. I haven’t taken a photo in a year. I am such a bad mom.”
“Ugh. Look how healthy her kids are eating. I have to get it together in the meal department.”
Does this sound familiar? Do you ever find yourself thinking this way?
There is a name for this…the comparison trap. And the comparison trap is a dangerous place for you to get caught up in.
The comparison trap was handcrafted by the enemy as a way to strip you of your self-worth and to build walls between you and other parents.
Many of us regularly fall into the bleak, bottomless pit of the comparison trap. This is a trap many women (and men!) fall into. We compare our families, parenting styles, fashion sense, faith in God, careers or lack thereof, bodies, etc.
We all do it.
It’s hard not to. Making comparisons is often how we gauge our progress. We compare ourselves to one another but often the only thing we seem to notice…is the ways in which we think we fall short.
We all know that there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, right? So why do we often judge ourselves by a standard of “perfection” that we (think) we see in others.
Because the longer we do, the longer we stay trapped. And the longer we try to keep up the façade of perfection in our own lives…the more anxious and depressed we become.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against resolving to change things that need to be changed.
But the ever-present nagging demand that you should:
- change your physical appearance
- keep a tidier house
- have more obedient children
- always have a smile on your face
is not God’s idea.
You…the unique person that you are…are God’s idea.
He created you just the way you are. He knows you inside and out (Ps.139:15).
From before the foundations of the earth, He knew you and He loved you (Jer.1:5).
Just as you are.
Imperfect. But created in His image.
He knew you would struggle, but it’s in your weakness, that you are made perfect (2Cor.12:9).
You are meant to walk in grace and in the freedom of who you are in Him.
So walk your walk with confidence….it’s the only walk you were created for.
- No one can do it better than you.
- No one can be a better parent to your children than you.
After all, God chose you for the job (Eph.2:10).
For me, I have finally realized what a toll my comparisons have taken on me, and I’ve been working really hard at releasing myself from them.
What is it that you aren’t great at?
What causes you stress because you feel like you never measure up?
Make a list, cross it out, and whisper those life-giving words with me. “I don’t have to be that parent.”
Are you struggling today? Caught up in comparing your house, your body, your life to others?
How can we pray for you?
michael
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