There are days when I feel like there is nothing to say. Today is one of those days. You know the feeling… searching for words to wrap around your experience… and somehow coming up short. Today is one of those days.
I am sitting looking out my front window. The house is still quiet. All I can hear is the honking of some bird outside and the click-click-clicking of my fingers on the keys. There is something peaceful about this moment.
I am looking out at a snow-covered morning. Again.
I normally love the snow. It is so beautiful. But this winter has felt interminable and today I just wish I were looking out at a Spring morning with green grass and a bed full of flowers.
But I am still looking out at snow. And it is supposed to snow all day today.
And I sit.
How do I come to days when there is nothing to say?
Sometimes these days follow a season surrounded by people and activity… when I have used up all my words from sharing so much.
Sometimes these days follow when I have tried to share and felt my words drifted to the winds with nowhere to land… days when I felt misunderstood in this special needs journey.
Today, I am not sure why I am feeling this way. But honestly, sometimes it doesn’t matter… the whys. I have always been a why person, from my earliest moments of life… “Why, Daddy? Why?” My father shared those moments with me countless times as I grew up.
I am old enough now to know that for some questions there will be no answers. At least not in this life.
For some questions there is only one answer. He is God. And He is good.
Most days that is enough for me.
So today, I sit by my front window. And look out at the snow. And thank God. For the quiet, snow-filled morning. Again. For the activity that will soon follow. For the assurance that one day very soon, I WILL be looking out at green grass and a bed full of flowers.
But for today, I sit looking out at snow. With nothing more to say.