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Evolution and Hard Decisions

December 7, 2016 by Sarah Parshall Perry

Parenting is synonymous with change. Our children grow and learn; they achieve and alter. And when they are special needs children, their bodies and abilities are in constant evolution.

Change is rarely comfortable.

Jesse’s original diagnoses include PDD-NOS, ODD, OCD, and ADHD. Some of those acronyms will change as he grows. Some – if God sees fit – might disappear. New ones could be added. These are the ones we fight the urge to fear. Though God tells us not to (Isaiah 40:10).

Parenting means change. Parenting special needs children like Jesse means the change can be uncomfortable.

For the moment, the ADHD is the part of Jesse’s picture that is giving us fits. Parent teacher conferences revealed that his inability to control his impulses, pay attention, follow directions and complete projects are interfering with the class environment and his ability to succeed. This preceded a week of no fewer than 5 psychology, counseling or psychiatry appointments for he and his brother. I crawled to the end of the week like flailing roadkill and when I sat with Jesse’s psychiatrist to review the data and teacher reporting, we realized it was time to make a change.

Jesse’s functionality had evolved. We had to evolve, too.

Our last trial with medication was over two years ago. Beginning with the first-line ADHD medication, we anticipated good results. What we got was an entirely different child – a weepy, sleepy, clingy child so unlike our Jesse that after 5 days, we called it quits. This time we will start with a different class of medication, and an EKG to make sure he isn’t at risk for the very rare possibility of seizures that might result from an interaction between his medications. We will know right away if it is working, and if it’s not, his body will expel it quickly.

Thank God for little safeties because the pit looks deep and the stakes are high.

No decision to medicate a child is ever one easily made. But we know the nature of our lives – with or without these special needs kids – require that sometimes, things must. For those of you who are standing on the precipice of fear about what will happen, about whether you are doing the right thing with the “right” medication or school or transition, I am there with you. I know that gnawing ball of anxiety. I’m fighting one, too.

But we know that the God of grace who gives us these children likewise gives us the wisdom to know what’s best. I pray my decision is best. I pray the same for you.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Eccles. 3:1

– Sarah

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Sarah Parshall Perry

Author, Freelance Writer
After six years in private practice as a lawyer, Sarah Parshall Perry left the workplace to stay at home with her son. That’s when the rest of her children – and her books – were born. It’s also when her very tidy life fell untidily apart. Sarah is the co-author of When the Fairy Dust Settles: A Mother and Her Daughter Discuss What Really Matters (Warner Faith 2004), the author of Sand in My Sandwich (and Other Motherhood Messes I’m Learning to Love) (Revell 2015), a contributing author to The Horse of My Heart (Revell 2015), and the author of Mommy Needs a Raise (Because Quitting’s Not an Option) (Revell 2016). Her writing has appeared at Christianity Today, The Federalist, The Stream, Christian Post, Daily Caller, Town Hall, and Think Christian, among others. Sarah is a consultant for the Family Research Council in Washington, D.C., and has served in youth ministry for over ten years. Sarah and her husband Matt enjoy an extraordinary, ordinary life in Maryland farm country. She fights three children and too many pets for writing time whenever she can.
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Latest posts by Sarah Parshall Perry (see all)

  • The White Noise of Disability - February 5, 2018
  • Love in the Age of Worry - November 1, 2017
  • Evolution and Hard Decisions - December 7, 2016

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Filed Under: ADHD, Asperger, Autism, Behaviors, Hidden Disabilities, Learning Disability, Living In The Moment, Mood Disorders, Patience, Peace, Sarah Parshall Perry, Scripture, Transitions Tagged With: autism, christian parenting, Encouragement, faith, parenting a child with special needs, special needs, special needs parenting

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