Often times when things are going good we don’t talk to God as much, but when things start to crumble we look to Him and often ask “why” or “how come.” My journey through life in my 46 years so far has had some ups, downs, curves, twists, turns, and sometimes sharp drops out of nowhere.
I grew up primarily in a divorced home with 2 parents that were struggling in their own right. Before age 8, I saw a lot of destruction and was often times feeling very unsafe. I was a petite, blonde, blue-eyed little girl who always wanted to please and try and avoid conflict at all costs. I was the 2nd child out of 4. There was a time right around age 8 that my world would change forever in the unsafe environment I was in. I didn’t share this “secret” until I turned 16. During this time I would pray and ask God to forgive me (at the time I thought it was all my fault and I could have stopped this horrific thing).
It was during VBS right before my 6th grade year that I accepted Christ in my heart. Still not understanding fully, I kept praying for God to forgive me and love me. At age 16, I finally shared this “secret” with my father. My father was my world. He loved me no matter what. He was proud of me. He gave me hugs. I felt loved by him so much, but was terrified to tell him this “secret”. After I did, he still loved me and explained to me it wasn’t my fault. After counseling and lots of encouragement from mentors, I still would ask “how come God”, “how come I had to go through that”. Right after my son Charlie was diagnosed with autism, I would say, “Oh Lord, Charlie needs a mom who has it together, someone who can handle this.” I would ask, “Lord why did you give me this boy with these struggles? He needs a mom who can help him and I won’t be able to. I am a mess myself.”
Little by little God started working on my heart explaining to me through His precious Word that I, Patty Myers, was specifically chosen to be Charlie’s mom, to help Charlie. This was the opposite of what I was thinking in the past: feeling unworthy, feeling not equipped, feeling so sad, feeling like I couldn’t do the task of what was before me and being fearful too of what that journey was going to be like. Once I came to the realization that God chose me specifically to be Charlie’s mom then it changed my whole perspective. I no longer thought, “Are you there God?”. I no longer thought, “Why did you give me this boy with all these struggles”. I felt humbled that God loves me so much that He gave me this unique and loving boy to help.
All of our pasts can affect how we parent. Everyone has a story. I continue to try and make sure my junk from my past doesn’t affect helping my son and that I continue to work on being healthy for him. How do I do that? Getting in God’s Word daily, praying, going to church weekly, finding a home group, and reaching out to friends. God is always there for us. He never sleeps. He loves us unconditionally. He wants us to come to Him. He is always there for us.
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.