When my daughter was born with Down syndrome, I never imagined that someday I would be thankful for her diagnosis. At the time of her birth, our future seemed bleak and limited. But disability was so different from what I thought it would be, and years later, there is so much I am thankful for.
I am thankful disability is not the horrible green eyed monster I thought it was
I was scared of disability, mainly because I was ignorant, I didn’t know much about it or what it would mean to our family. But I have discovered that disability is part of life. You learn, you grow, you live. And so much of life goes on as before.
I am thankful my priorities and what I valued in life changed
How smart you are is not as important as how well you love. I didn’t know that before my kids came into my life. We live in a culture that praises intellect over kindness, a culture that values a high IQ more than compassion. But at the end of our lives those things will matter little, what will matter is how we lived life, how we loved, how we reached out with open hearts. Family. That’s what matters.
I am thankful for the small milestones
Perhaps to some the little milestones go unnoticed, or they seem insignificant, but when you parent a child with special needs, no milestone goes unnoticed. You become so aware of the small things, and those small things have a way of bursting your heart with pride for your child.
I am thankful for celebration
Because we notice milestones, we celebrate. We celebrate the small and the big, we celebrate with others around us. And going poopy in the potty is a big deal, even if it takes considerably many more years than the average child. And a labored step with an assistive device is sweeter than a medal for the 100 meter race. You celebrate, and you celebrate big.
I am thankful for the tears
For the tears shed at hospitals, for the tears of helplessness, the tears of loss. Because in those dark moments God has brought in the most amazing people into my life that understand this journey as intimately as I do. And I have learned what it means to allow God to be in control when I cannot handle it. And those tears have given me strength, helped me to move past my own needs and care for the needs of others. I can now meet people in the messy of life, and understand what it is to feel beat down. So many tears that have become treasures in my heart.
I am thankful for the joy
Because my children bring me indescribable joy. I am lucky I get to call them my own. With all our challenges and the extra work, they are mine to hold and to love.
I am thankful for the unconditional love
I thought I knew about unconditional love simply by being a mother, but I discovered it was easy to love a child that would seemingly meet all my expectations. In that process, I discovered I had expectations for my kids, and that is not unconditional love, that is love with strings attached, so different from what true love is. So I ripped the expectations and tossed them to the wind, because love is freely given expecting nothing in return. We love because we are loved. Oh there is so much love.
What are you thankful for in the special needs journey?
Latest posts by Ellen Stumbo (see all)
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I want to thank for sharing with rest of us who in the same journey as you. My daughter is five years old. She was diagnosed with autism two years ago. I was broken. You are correct prayer has helped me to accept the challenges and to cherish my beautiful daughter Jahemma. I realized that we were chosen to be the mothers of these beautiful souls because we have the love deep inside of us to give. Indeed to lo?ve them unconditionally. We are blessed because we were granted profound love.
I am thankful that my daughter understands and expresses emotions. When she was born, doctors were not sure if she would be capable of this. So my husband and I get excited everytime she laughs, cries, pouts, etc. It’s awesome!
I am thankful for the journey itself. I love being a mom to a special needs son that is 19 now. Anything new in his world is a milestone for him. He saw his Dad folding clothes last night so he crawled over to hand the clothes to Dad. This was his way of saying “I want to help”. We are so proud of his loving and kind heart. There is no purer love than the love that exist in his heart.
I agree with all of your points here, Ellen. I’m grateful for the small milestones too. The other day my son’s Educational Assistant told me that my son had mastered all of the grade 3 spelling words, so they were moving on to the next level. My son is in grade 8. But I still felt so proud that he had made progress and that he can read and enjoy simple books as a result of this accomplishment. I’m also very thankful for all the assistance he has at school. There is so much to be grateful for if we take a moment to recognize it.