As last Friday came around (September 11), I kept seeing posts about “never forget,” missing loved ones who left us that September day 14 years ago. It really made me think about not forgetting where we came from, my son and I.
I will never forget when he couldn’t talk at all at even age 3. He couldn’t tell us his basic needs. He would take my hand and bring it to the thing he wanted. We worked for years on language (and continue too). I will never forget his first response (verbally) to me, “sss” for Yes when I asked if he wanted cereal. I asked that almost everyday for years. When he said “sss” I started to cry. Years later he told me, “mom remember when I said my first word and you cried.”
I will never forget when at 5 he still wasn’t potty trained. He would scream even if we brought him in the bathroom, we would have to forcefully put him on the potty. We started doing a consistent interval schedule every 45 minutes. It was brutal for both of us. At the end of the second week of him not doing it once without a massive tantrum, I wanted to quit. I wanted to give up, but just at that moment he gave me a little bit of hope and wasn’t as agitated. Soon he was more cooperative and it was connecting.
I will never forget when he used to get haircuts and we had to hold him down while they gave him the shortest buzz cut so we didn’t have to do this again for a long time. I will never forget the blood curdling screaming when he had to get this done. Now he goes in, with no reservations or anxiety. He tolerates the buzzing of the razor sounds great now.
We are currently going through a tough patch the last 6 months or so. He is 14 now with autism, and as he says, “I’m in the puberty.” His emotions have always been up and down, but they are at an all time high. We are pushing him socially too and that is really hard for him.
One night a few weeks ago, he begged me to not have the Behavior Analyst come to the house again the next day.
He said, “She’s ruining my life.”
I sat there for a minute with my heart just hurting. I told him we are at one of those moments again Charlie.
I said, “Remember when we practiced to talk for years and how hard it was for you to get your words out.”
He said, “Yes.”
I said, “Remember when we worked on getting you to go to the bathroom on your own and how we both cried.”
He said, “Oh yes.”
I told him, “We are in the middle of one of those tough times. But each of the others we got through it and not only did we get through it but your life was much better. We just have to keep working hard and pushing through.”
Both of us were crying at this point.
We will never forget all the hard work he has done and all the progress he has made. We are grateful but also continue to always be working on the next skills. Remembering though the things he couldn’t do and now does do gives me hope on the days like today where we are struggling through.
God is always working on us as well as our kids. He is never finished with us and won’t be until we enter heaven. He loves us so much and is always with us, molding and making us new.
You can always go to Him and He will remind you to never forget all that He has brought you through.
Thank you Lord.
Blessings,
Patty Myers
autismblessings
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