People look at you and say, “I don’t know how you do it,” and you aren’t quite sure what they are talking about. You just did what was necessary. You learned about sensory integration, drug interactions, reflex integration, nutritional therapies, coffee enemas, methylation, verbal behavior training, brain gym, and a host of other things, just to help your child take one step forward… (excerpt from Parenting Like a Ninja)
Sometimes, I feel the Holy Spirit nudging me heart, using my son, speaking in J’s voice. He’s saying something like ….
I need you mommy. Wait! I know you know, but I mean something else. You’re right. I do need you to take care of me, to protect me when I can’t protect myself, to advocate for me when others don’t understand. You do that mom, perfectly for me. I know you wish you did more, better, more often, had more time, money, anything for me, for my growth and development. I know you would happily bear anything if it would help me take another step in my development. Words cannot express my gratitude for your loving service to me.
I need you mommy. So much of what I know comes from you. I look at you and I know what sacrificial love and service to others looks like. But there’s something else that I need. I need to see what loving me looks like. Because sometimes it’s hard to love me. Sometimes every day is hard, filled with many hard moments, and I want to understand how to love me. And I think you can help me with that. Let me see what it looks like when you love you.
I know you have hard days too. What do you do? Show me. Tell me. Do you have wishes and dreams that you are working on? How do you keep them in front of you, with everything else going on? Sometimes doing the hard work to grow to the independence I want seems too hard for me. And some days I give up. Do you give up? Have you given up?
I need you. I need to see you love you, hear from God for you and grow through your obstacles as you keep moving forward. Just for you. Not just for me. Because sometimes its hard for me to do something just for me. Mommy, help me. Show me. Let me see you love you.
The second most important commandment says: ‘Love others as much as you love yourself.’ No other commandment is more important than these.
Mark 12:31 (CEV)