Not HOW but WHY

How many times have you and I have been asked, “HOW DO you do it?” We’d be rich if we had a dime for every time we’ve been asked that … right?

Here is how I used to answer:

• Oh, the Lord gives me strength, just when I need it.
• We all learn to do what we’ve been called to do.
• You do what ya gotta do.
• Who else is going to do it? (Ok, that has a little attitude attached, can you relate?)

I’ve started to answer a little differently than I had because those answers really don’t answer what I truly mean. It also doesn’t give the true reason behind the sacrifices my husband and I make, the work we do, nor the impetus behind it all.

I recognize when doing certain things, I must simply get in the mode of what I need to do and just get it done … things (past and present) like:

• Changing a messy diaper on an older child not yet potty trained (really any child!)
• Cleaning another mess my child made because they didn’t know any better
• Holding my child for days on end when seizures aren’t stopping
• Dealing with his grown up anger or other quirky habits
• Trying to overlook things that drive me nuts (attitude, sorry) like shuffling his feet across the tile floor (I know, I AM thankful he walks!J)
• Wondering if he’ll ever learn or “get” things I’m saying, or want him to learn
• Nightly (and daily) homework and therapies….over and over and over and over…
• Helping him learn to interact with his peers, siblings, other, and us….politely
• YOU ADD YOURS:

But what I’ve learned in this ongoing process since 1981 is this: I love him. I will do anything for, with, and because of him. I don’t always like it; but I always love him. And because of that, when I feel like I don’t get out like I wish I could, or I’ve missed another opportunity to meet with friends or dinner out with couples, or I can’t take a trip I’ve longed to take, I realize that I really do have something far more important, and that is a sense of responsibility to my son because of my love for him.

It’s not how I do it, but why…and it’s worth it!

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Cindi Ferrini

Joe and Cindi have been married since 1979, have 3 grown children, grandchildren, and enjoy speaking together on topics of marriage, parenting (including special needs), leadership, and time and life management. They have written articles and blogs for Focus on the Family, FamilyLife, Family Matters, and others. Together they authored: Unexpected Journey - When Special Needs Change our Course. Cindi has written time management and organizational materials as well. They LOVE what they GET to do....

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