Every Tuesday night (except for when I have a good excuse not to) I drag myself over to the YMCA for cycle class. It's not an ideal time, but it's a rare hour after dinner, and after one kid is in bed, that I can squeeze in a workout thanks to my supportive husband. Not only is it not an ideal time, but I don't exactly love the instructor’s style. The music isn't that great and he yells a LOT … [Read more...]
The White Noise of Disability
It’s my birthday. What do I want, you ask? A little peace and quiet. That’s all. I want the fighting to stop, and the doors to stop slamming, and the dogs to stop barking, and the hollering for “can you bring me up a whatever” to just cease for a blasted minute, because kids are loud, and ours are louder. They are a next-level kind of loud. The loud of special needs and mental illness that … [Read more...]
God’s Surprises
November. Not my favorite month of the year. Darkness draws in as days shorten. Temperatures drop. The furnace hums. Coats, scarves and hats hang from the hall tree. I’m constantly wrapped in an alpaca blanket, trying to stay warm. I love the glories of fall foliage, but some of us (me included!) suffer from SAD—Seasonal Affective Disorder—so this can be a tough time of year. No wonder … [Read more...]
Love in the Age of Worry
Love in the Age of Worry “He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.” – Psalm 91:4 NLT I’d planned to write about Jesse this week. I'd planned a piece about theoretical fear. Jesse is my youngest child, and has autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and ADHD. As He is wont to do, God changed the plan. On a Tuesday … [Read more...]
Wholeness Does Not Mean Perfection: It Means Embracing Brokenness
I can’t tell you how many times, over my 32 year journey with autism, I have returned to this quote for inspiration: On July 4, 1999, a twenty-minute maelstrom of hurricane force winds took down twenty million trees across the Boundary Waters. A month later, when I made my annual pilgrimage up north, I was heartbroken by the ruin and wondered whether I wanted to return. And yet on each visit … [Read more...]
You (Not What You Do as a Parent) Are a Gift to Your Child
The week after my child was diagnosed with autism, I held it together for a few days and then sobbed uncontrollably while speaking to my friend/psychologist over the phone. I stood in the bathroom where I went to talk alone and gazed at my swollen eyes and red face in the mirror. I was in a panic because my child was three and had missed out on some intensive early intervention as her diagnoses … [Read more...]