I remember my father once telling me, “It’s dangerous to live.” What he meant was that life is full of risks and dangers and that if we are constantly worried about those risks and dangers, then we’re not really living. I’ve often recounted this quote whenever a therapist overplayed the safety card with Ben – you know, when they say it wouldn’t be safe to transfer Ben into his walker or … [Read more...]
Sleep Deprivation and Miracles
2:30am Being a mommy must also mean having super hero levels of hearing. From my room down the corridor, I hear the creaking of bedsprings, shuffling and … yes, a door opening. My heart sinks but I fight to hope: maybe it’s one of the other kids. All the lights in the corridor go on and there are pounding footsteps down the stairs, followed by more lights. I can now see the brightly lit backyard … [Read more...]
Known by God
"Finding God is not hard. Letting God find us...is hard" (Nick Wagner, Presence: An International Journal of Spiritual Direction, Vol. 22 No. 3). As the mother of a 31-year-old son with autism, I long to be known by God. I often need comfort, discernment, direction, or just a simple "hug" from the Holy Spirit. I need to know that God loves me, even with all of my shortcomings. Lectio Divina, … [Read more...]
Special Needs Humble Pie
I got a big helping of that special needs Humble Pie last week. You may have been there yourself before. Maybe it was the public meltdown stares. Or people wondering with perturbed looks surrounding public restroom issues. Possibly, you've been in a special needs situation that has been a bit humbling. They come often. So often, in fact, I am pretty used to them. Special needs is humbling. But … [Read more...]
Plagues of People, Safety in Numbers
Children on the autism spectrum usually fall in one of two camps when it comes to their feelings about crowds: crowds are either an audience or a plague. For Jesse, crowds are an audience. He loves to mug, and show off, and recite what he knows about things of no interest to the listener. For Noah, crowds are a plague. This makes it a challenge to plan a wedding when both boys are also a part … [Read more...]
When the Disability’s Not So “Bad”
I feel guilty about a very strange thing. Not about something I’ve done, but about something I was given. Today, I want to hold my hand up and shield people from paying attention to this part of my life; here, in this particular community of parents who struggle daily with special needs, and never-ending vigilance. A few codes in our neurologist’s office indicate I’ve every right to be among you … [Read more...]