She'd been ranting at me for 45 minutes. My muscles were tense. The ache in my shoulders crept up my neck and threatened to swallow my head whole. It wasn't me she was mad at. It wasn't even the trigger she ranted about that she was mad at. It was---almost always is---her mind spinning into Reactive Attachment Disorder and Bipolar Disorder lows. Moments full of obsessing over one … [Read more...]
God Bless the “Good-Finders”!
It began for me very early in my special needs journey. Accusations flowed freely from the mouth of someone close to me, scolding that I was over-treating my baby's severe bleeding disorder. Still new at being a "warrior mom", I felt small, ashamed, foolish, doubting myself. The degrading embarrassment didn't end with just one child. I can remember so many years where neighbors made snide … [Read more...]
The Secret in Not Knowing
Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” - John 14:5 Do you know what I most want right now? The details. "Sit me down, God," I pray, "Press some heavenly remote that lowers a screen from the clouds above—one big enough to make the guys at Best Buy cry with envy." This is my prayer..."God, would you light up that screen with an … [Read more...]
Your Faith Has Made You Well
In Mark 5, we meet a woman who had tried to find relief from many doctors. “And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse” (vv. 25–26). We can relate! Like so many of us who have tried doctors, therapies, supplements, diets, and tests, this woman … [Read more...]
Who Else Wants Their Joy Back?
What does joy mean to you? And how do you know if you've got it? These are questions a fresh wave of challenges with my 10-year-old have pressed on my mind. As I wrestle to have more joy in the struggles---and to recognize it when it's there---I'm finding it's different than I used to think. For me, joy is relief. It's cool grace over a searing heart. It's letting go of heavy burdens. And it's … [Read more...]
Honoring Special Needs Parents Who Paved the Way for Us
The Education for All Handicapped Children Act was enacted in 1975, just two years before my sister with Down Syndrome was born. Public Law 94-142 was still new to our small town in Oklahoma when my mom sat down for her first IEP meeting in 1983, when it was time for my sister to start kindergarten. She talked with a young teacher who wasn't trained in special education, had never taught a student … [Read more...]