A few months ago I had lunch with a friend. The waitress guided us to a booth by a window. John collapsed onto the bench seat. Outside, the skies were turning dark. Clouds threatened to bring a mid-day rain.
John leads a Life Group in our church. He’s a deacon and someone who’s also actively involved in an outreach ministry.
John’s also a father to a bright-eyed, curly-haired little girl on the autism spectrum. Cute…and a handful.
The waitress brought two glasses of water and set them on the table. She said that she’d be right back and turned to leave. Her footsteps faded down the aisle. Chatter from the other patrons echoed around us.
John stared down at his hands. For someone who was never at a loss for words, he was quiet.
Slowly he raised his eyes and in a tone that lacked strength, he said, “I feel useless…like God hasn’t used me for a very long time. His shoulders sank.
I breathed slowly as old memories took over. I remembered the early days of parenting boys on the autism spectrum. Defeatist thoughts about myself. A heaviness in my body. A heart that felt like it was shrinking.
I leaned in towards him.
“John, God uses you in your family every day,” I confidently replied.
I shared Jesus’ words:
“Whoever is faithful in a very little is faithful also in much.” (Luke 16:10)
It’s the little things.
Jesus teaches us the value of little things. He considered the little things in life important. We see him going to a synagogue to have a special time of teaching and on the way Jesus is willing to stop and let the little children come to him. His disciples didn’t like that:
“Jesus what you are doing is too important to stop for kids!”
“No, let all the little children come to me,” he says.
It’s the little things.
I bring these words to you because if you’re a parent of a child with special needs, chances are that you need to hear the same thing:
God uses you every day in the little things to make a difference in people’s lives.
Did you hear me, dad?
When you’re trying to figure out what your nonverbal son is wanting. He uses you.
When you watch your child so that you wife can catch a break. He uses you.
When you’re helping your child to learn how to potty. He uses you.
For you moms reading this:
When you answer the daily dozens of “Hey Mommy!” He uses you.
When you get up in the middle of the night to rock your sick child. He uses you.
When you’re changing the sixth dirty diaper for the day. He uses you.
When the dishes don’t get done because your son needs extra bath time help. He uses you.
Sometimes in life’s mundane moments, it can be difficult to see that, can’t it?
But it’s true.
God created you in His image for such a time as this. And so today, right where you are, I want you to pray and ask God to show you how He is using you in the little things that you do day-to-day as a parent of a child with special needs.
Because, if you are like me, you don’t think of God using you when you are wiping snotty noses and trying to get laundry done after working all day.
But He is.
He uses you every day…in the little things.
Leave a comment and share with me how God is (or might be) using you today.
Now it makes all the sense in the world….
I have a son on the spectrum. But along with being on the spectrum, he has several big health issues. One as debilitating as OCD, with seizure disorder and asthma.
Today, God will be using me to be patient through my son’s episodes of OCD, so they don’t escalate into something worse.
God is using me to help my son, learn how to calm himself through an episode of OCD.
God is using me, when I feel alone during the several moments, my husband detaches himself from us, his family, especially when I need him the most. So that I may, keep strong and healthy, and focus on the bigger matter in front of me….and that is our son’s needs. I will give my Lord my burdens to carry.
~Susan
Susan, thank you for your love, courage, perseverance, and all that you do for your family.
I never thought of it this way….
God is using me to show patience when my special needs son has an episode of OCD.
God is using me to help my son learn to calm the stuff in his head that brings on the OCD.
God is using me when my husband has become so detached from us, his family, that I must be carry on with the courage, keeping my family strong and healthy. Even if it all by myself!
Now it makes all sense….
I really needed to read this today. We have been struggling for almost 14 years with our son who has Asperger’s Syndrome. Every day I pray that God will use me in his life, and my other 2 boys lives, to show them how important their life is and how much they are loved. I do have to admit that I grow weary in my mind, soul and body because the demands are so intense but I know God is in control and that gives me peace. I’m so thankful to have found this website! God bless you for encouraging all of us …..
Such a timely message. I am so worn out from advocating. Every direction we turn is another brick wall and I am shocked that this is our reality. I didn’t realize things would be this hard with laws and protocols in place. This is a very lonely path to walk. I am so thankful for my husband, he has been my encourager and teammate. Beautiful words. Thank you.
Anna, my wife and I just had an IEP meeting yesterday over a major incident with one of our boys. The days leading up to the IEP were emotionally exhausting. Love for our child is what keeps us going. Keeps you and your husband going and continuing to advocate for your child.
We love others (our child) as He loves us…and He loves us each and every day.
God bless you and thank you for all you do as a parent.
Mike, this is such a great reminder. Sharing forward to my husband and other dads struggling with this issue!
I thought when I was taking my ABA courses it was just to help my own son, but God had bigger plans to help many more! God is using me at First Hope. I feel so humbled and honored He chose me.
Patty, I get the opportunity to see how much heart and soul you pour into your students at First Hope. My vote: we rename your book from Autism Is A Blessing to Patty Is A Blessing! 🙂
Thank you Mike for the encouragement! It is much needed right now:)
This is me, every day. I not only have my aspie teenager, but twin 8 yr olds and a disabled husband. Sometimes, it’s all I can do to get out of bed in the morning. I needed this story. Thank you very much
Susan, thank you very much for all that you do each day. It doesn’t go unnoticed.
I so often feel like this in caring for my 8 year old son who has autism and is mostly non-verbal. I used to be in full time ministry on the college campus and so easy to think now I’m “doing nothing” for Jesus. But your post reminded me that I am. These little things…watching Luke 24/7, trying to get him to the potty instead of the alternative….God sees these things as service to Him. Want to show my husband this too!
I can identify. Before the boys were diagnosed I was in ministry. Went from ministry to stay-at-home day in a blink. Dazed. Confused. Felt like I wasn’t doing anything for the Lord. Now I realize that I’m doing the most important thing…being a parent (and spouse!:).
I know this may sound strange for some parents, but usually not for parents/grandparents of children with special needs: I’m grateful for each of you being vulnerable enough to say, “That’s me.” Because it’s me too. We’re in this together with the One who love us in the midst of all of it.
Needed to read this today as my grandson ask me the same question over and over as he tries to understand the world he lives in.I’m learning in a world of darkness words r your connection choice them with love.
Mike, thank you for spurring us on to be used another day as Christ’s blessing to our families!
Great message to me. God is in the “dailies” of life. Always a great reminder.
Thank you…I needed this today to continue to be patient w/ my 16yo DS w/ autism and tourettes…
Wonderful and timely message that feels like it was meant for me. Thank you.