“Cerebral palsy. Autism. Epilepsy. Intellectually disabled. Cognitively impaired.” I read the words over and over in a whisper. In fact, those words seemed to leap off the page despite the rest of the wording that filled the legal document I was holding. They were only eight words, but those were the eight words used to define my son. Our son has just turned eighteen years … [Read more...]
I’m Here To Take Care Of You
“Do you want to hold him?” The nurse handed your newly born body to me and placed you in my trembling arms. I remember looking down at you for the very first time and whispering, “I’m your dad, I’m here to take care of you.” I thought about that experience many times this week as you turned eighteen. In an instant I went from having a child with special needs to being the parent … [Read more...]
I Never Dreamed
This week one of my good friends accompanied his eighteen-year-old son off to join the Marines. Another friend sent his eighteen-year-old child off to college. My son turns eighteen in two weeks. Last night he peed in the bathtub. The gap between our life and the life of a typical family is sometimes so vast that it’s difficult to comprehend. As my wife likes to say, “Sometimes my … [Read more...]
I’ll Never Let Go
I remember holding him in my arms for the first time just minutes after cutting his cord in the delivery room. I would place his sleeping form on my chest, his head gently laying across my shoulder, as we sat in my chair at night. I would rest contentedly when, as an infant, he would curl up against me on the bed and nuzzle his head in the crook of my arm. I would hold him in my … [Read more...]
I’ll Get You Home
"Seizure- full blown- I’m on it.” I texted those words to my wife with one hand, as I ripped my seatbelt off with the other hand. Earlier this morning at breakfast, my wife had noticed our son was especially restless and agitated. “He’s out of sorts this morning,” she had said. We had attended church together, and on the way home, we stopped at the grocery store for the weekly shopping. … [Read more...]
Because Every Day Is Father’s Day
Next weekend will be my 17th Father’s Day. As the dad of a child with profound special needs, my day will be anything but that of a typical dad, or a typical Father’s Day. My son is totally non-verbal and so for the seventeenth consecutive year, he won’t wish me Happy Father’s Day. My son has limited motor skills so there will be no Happy Father’s Day card for me. No … [Read more...]