Can you even remember when you stopped praying for it? That thing you hoped for once upon a time but, as time moved on, faded from that hopeful place? I don't know about you, but I can't. I can't remember when I stopped praying for Zoe to talk. Friends would ask if she said any words, and I would answer yes, because she did. Technically. But, of her four or five words, we were lucky if … [Read more...]
Pick Your Battles: when losing doesn’t have to mean loss
Parenting experts have been known to quip the phrase “pick your battles.” In my experience as a special needs parent, however, the problem isn’t just about which battles to fight, but knowing when it’s okay to lose. Long ago I surrendered the battle with my autistic sons over a healthy diet in favor of settling for almost anything that would keep my picky, OCD eaters alive and breathing. … [Read more...]
When Life Is Not a Hallmark Card
It’s true. Misery loves company. And probably the reason one of my favorite shows is The Middle, a sitcom about the misadventures of a mid-western family not very unlike my own. Duct-taped appliances? Special needs teens and a seat-of-the-pants mother? Check. It’s a show that makes me laugh because the Hecks (or rather their script writers) “get it”. Life is a daily walk into the precarious … [Read more...]
Thanksgiving: Finding God in the turmoil of special needs parenting
My daughter once accused her older brother of opening his eyes during dinner prayer, not realizing, of course, she implicated herself in the process. Classic. But last week the violator of the “Super-Spiritual Guide to Prayer Protocol” wasn’t 10 years old, she was 49. Guilty as charged, I opened my eyes mid-prayer when a woman in my prayer group said a surprising thing: “Thank you, God, for the … [Read more...]
Life (for me) ALWAYS goes as planned….Was that Plan A or B?
When you’re young, you think you have it all figured out – that everything will go just as planned! As a planner, I love when life allows me to live according to my Plan A….but the reality is: I live in Plan B! While Plan A is fun to plan, there is adventure and even (at times) excitement when one allows God to orchestrate a different plan that our own…thus…Plan B! It’s hard for most of … [Read more...]
Inadequate, But Not Alone
Today, I feel inadequate. Not at all qualified to encourage parents to fight the isolation that threatens to engulf them. Not at all worthy to remind them they are not alone. Not at all an example of how to ask for help from others. Because when events in my life took a difficult turn recently, I ignored my own advice. I rationalized my decision to isolate in numerous ways. It's no big … [Read more...]