She'd been ranting at me for 45 minutes. My muscles were tense. The ache in my shoulders crept up my neck and threatened to swallow my head whole. It wasn't me she was mad at. It wasn't even the trigger she ranted about that she was mad at. It was---almost always is---her mind spinning into Reactive Attachment Disorder and Bipolar Disorder lows. Moments full of obsessing over one … [Read more...]
How I’m getting my instincts back (and you can too).
"Mom?" asked my sixth grade daughter on the way home from school, "Isn't it true you should always trust your instincts?" I stifled a laugh, trying not to let the Diet Coke in my mouth shoot through my nose. Three responses sprung simultaneously to mind: Should you have gone with your instinct to hit your little sister yesterday? Or did that end badly for you? Should you go with your … [Read more...]
Is Happy Marriage Possible For Parents of Special Needs?
I have this guy living in my house. This tall, witty, occasionally infuriating guy, whose across-the-room smile can still make me blush, 15 years after "I do." Only problem is it's way too easy as a parent of kids with special needs to simply not look across the room. Do I know my husband is my primary relationship? That he's the only one who's still going to be sitting across from me when the … [Read more...]
Twilight Zone Prayers and Hidden Disabilities
Of all the prayers in the Bible, I don't recall anyone praying that their child would have a seizure. Or that they'd spike a fever. Or that they'd have a meltdown in class. But I have. These are some of the alter-universe prayers I find myself praying for one of our daughters who has developmental delays, GAD, RAD and ODD---a.k.a. hidden disabilities. Here's my girl. See if you can discover why … [Read more...]
Who Else Wants Their Joy Back?
What does joy mean to you? And how do you know if you've got it? These are questions a fresh wave of challenges with my 10-year-old have pressed on my mind. As I wrestle to have more joy in the struggles---and to recognize it when it's there---I'm finding it's different than I used to think. For me, joy is relief. It's cool grace over a searing heart. It's letting go of heavy burdens. And it's … [Read more...]
Quiz: How Would YOU Handle This Doctor Visit?
The only redemptive feature of hours and hours in doctor waiting rooms is the abundance of fun magazines. Ok, not abundance. More like a handful of worn, outdated family magazines which, to their credit, at least offer some "Oh, I haven't tried that one before" snack-making ideas. But even those magazines can have interesting quizzes in them. As I left the neurologist's office yesterday morning, … [Read more...]