Read below for a guest post from Ron Sandison.
“For nothing is impossible with God.” – Luke 1:37
Cut Bank, Montana, the hometown of auburn-haired, shy beauty, “Miss Montana” Alexis Wineman, is a small community with a population of 3,000. Alexis and her twin sister, Amanda, were born five weeks premature. Kim and her husband, Michael, quickly noticed a neurological difference between Alexis and Amanda. When Alexis was frustrated or cried, her whole body would tighten up for hours. Nothing seemed to bring Alexis relief from her meltdowns.
Alexis was delayed in her motor skills; Amanda reached her developmental milestones on time. Alexis had difficulty with walking and speaking and was unable to touch a toy ball placed before her. The whole family babied Alexis, and their neighbors said, “Alexis is fine. She’s just behind in development because she’s the baby of the family.”
Alexis’s heavy speech impediment caused her to be verbally bullied. Children called Alexis a retard and told her she was not worth the breath she was breathing. Eventually, Alexis stopped talking to avoid attention.
In the fourth and fifth grade Alexis began to display behavioral problems. Kim felt devastated when Alexis’s teacher referred to her adorable daughter as the “pokey little puppy.” Math equations took Alexis twice as much time to solve as they did her classmates. When Alexis became angry and frustrated from her struggles with algebra, the instructor would send her in the hall to calm down.
After school, Alexis would withdraw to her room for hours and shutdown from interaction with her family. When upset she would bang her head relentlessly against the wall or descend into a screaming tantrum. Kim and Michael, desperate for help, sought counsel from their pastor. The pastor wisely advised, “Alexis’s behavioral issues require professional help. She needs to be evaluated by a therapist.”
After intensive neurological testing, Alexis was diagnosed at age 11 with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD-NOS) and borderline Asperger’s. A psychiatrist prescribed an antidepressant, which had a horrible reaction, causing Alexis to become more withdrawn and depressed.
Alexis’s mom was determined to help her daughter overcome autism by developing self-esteem. Kim encouraged Alexis to use her talent of drawing and had her take ceramics classes. Alexis learned social skills as she competed on the cross-country team, cheerleading squad, and drama group. Kim jokes, “I was the Cut Bank High School cheerleader coach. So I forced Alexis to join our team.”
Kim encourages special needs parents, “Find your child’s niche that involves other people.”
Alexis loves playing PlayStation games but when she plays games, she does it by herself. The drama group, composed of students considered by their peers as “misfits,” encouraged Alexis to leave her comfort zone by performing comedy routines. While competing for Miss Montana and Miss America Alexis used the skills she developed from the drama group to win over the audience with laughter.
Kim instructs parents, “Teach your child to leave her comfort zone and learn new things. This will develop her confidence to handle real life situations.”
As Alexis entered her senior year of high school, she asked her mom, “What scholarships are available for college?” Kim provided her daughter with a list of scholarships that included the Miss Montana program. A few days later, Alexis excitedly told her parents, “I am going to compete for Miss Montana.” Kim and Michael’s jaws hit the carpet in terror, “Miss Montana? Alexis doesn’t like make-up or the sensation of fancy clothes.”
“Never put a limit on your child. For nothing is impossible with God.”
Alexis was determined. On the first night of competition, Alexis felt overwhelmed. She was confident on the stage but experienced social awkwardness among her follow contestants. After three days of competing, Alexis and her family were amazed as she was crowned Miss Montana. Diane Sawyer named Alexis her “Person of the Week.”
Alexis’s platform for Miss America is Normal Is Just a Dryer Setting: Living with Autism. While competing for Miss America, Alexis advocated for autism by wearing a light blue evening gown the same color of the puzzle piece symbol of Autism Speaks. A few hours into the pageant, Alexis exclaimed to a fellow contestant with tears, “Holy crap, I’m in Miss America!” Alexis declared, “Autism doesn’t define me. I define it.”
Alexis was voted “America’s Choice,” earning her spot in the live show competition with the other top 16 contestants. While touring as Miss Montana, Alexis asked her mom, “Do you think God has a plan for me?” Kim replied, “You are living the plan God has for you— helping others with autism.”
Alexis shares at autism conferences, “I will be successful if just one person encounters a child who is overstimulated without staring. If one teenager invites an “outcast” to lunch or just smiles at him or her. If one employer gives a job to someone who might not be able to look the interviewer in the eye.” Her goal is to use the unique opportunities God has given her to be a voice for those who don’t have one and redefine people’s perspectives of autism.
Alexis advocates, “We can begin to understand autism, and help those with the condition to unlock the potential that lies within all of us.”
Ron Sandison works full time in the medical field and is a professor of theology at Destiny School of Ministry. He is an advisory board member of Autism Society Faith Initiative of Autism Society of American. Sandison has a Master of Divinity from Oral Roberts University and is currently writing, A Christian Concise Guide to Autism. Ron and his wife, Kristen, reside in Rochester Hills, MI, with their pet rabbit, Babs, and cat, Frishma. You can contact Ron on Facebook or email him.
What an inspiring family! Thank you for sharing. I work with children with disabilities and it is wonderful to be reminded that there is hope for all. We just need to believe in our children, make them work hard by challenging them and love and respect them for who God created them to be. I truly believe “Nothing is impossible with God.”
Thanks, Lisa.
Keep up the great work helping those with disabilities your work will be rewarded in the Lord.
Ron S.
Thanks, for sharing Maddy. I also experienced horrible bullying as a kid. One of the main bullies who bullied me became a famous Hollywood DJ named Rude Jude. I share my story of being bullied in my chapter Bully Proofing. I share practical ways to help your child not to receive bullying.
She is a very beautiful young woman, and by the looks of it, she is full of elegance and class. I was bullied for my autism and called retarded, psychotic and even ‘mental’, but the one that has always stuck with me is the word ‘freak’ – I think that the word is likely to haunt me, until the very day that I die. I think that Montana’s story is inspirational for all individuals with a disability as it gives us some form of hope and happiness. Thank-you, Montana, for giving all of us a light in sharing your beautiful, touching story… I do think that the bullies should be named and shamed publicly, however, so many confidential policies, unfortunately restrict that and the majority of them are free to get away with their actions – unpunished. I wanted to write a book about what klife was like for me when I was bullied, and when I did and went to publish it, the publisher asked me if I had used the real names of the people who had bullied me for my disability, which I had done. He then refused to publish my book, unless I were to change the names, or go and ask permission from the bullies to use their names in my story!! I guess that I can partially understand, but why are they being protected, when we never were? Society should be ashamed of itself.
Such a wonderful tribute to the possibilities of those with autism and what a beautiful young woman inside and out! My daughter was also successful, in figure skating, but the medications changed her life, and now we are waiting for the day she will return to the person she once was…for more, read Lonely Girl, Gracious God. Thank you for telling this wonderful story and God bless you all…Lauri K.
Lauri, I have your book and hope to read it soon. Been working on revision on my book, A Christian Concise Guide to Autism. Charisma House will be publishing it. Lynda Young, the author of Hope Autism, told me about your book, Lonely Girl, Gracious God. She told me I should read your book and talk with you. Hope to talk sometime, God’s blessings
We just found out that our 3 1/2 year old Grandson is part of this very confusing “spectrum”! He has problems with comprehension and repetitive speech. Our daughter and Son in law are on top of everything as far as getting him the help that has been recommended. We have seen improvement in his socialization in just under 2 months. We are hopeful, with his therapist help and confidence, that by 6 years old he should be able to communicate and function without stares and hushed remarks.
Thanks for sharing. My parents were told by neurologist that I never read beyond a 7-8th grade level and would not be able to attend college. By the grace of God and the help of my loving parents, I was able to graduate with a master of divinity and perfect 4.0 GPA and also during the last ten years I have read over 860 books. So nothing is impossible with God. Alexis experience many tests and persecution but her family and her never gave up. Daily I have parents contact me on how to best help their child or grandchild– help the child develop their interests and strengths.
Ron, this is excellent. I am sharing it with the parents over at http://www.facebook.com/1Corinthians13Parenting and on my pinterest and twitter. Thanks for calling my attention to this hope filled article.
Thanks Lori for sharing. There so many people on the spectrum who have amazing stories to share. By God’s grace and helping parents, these children can accomplish amazing things. We should never put a limit on the things an all powerful God can accomplish.
I am glad you found the article encouraging. There are so many amazing young people on the spectrum and one of my goals in my book, A Christian Concise Guide to Autism is to encourage parents and share these young people’s stories of overcoming. God’s blessing with your family.
So timely for me! We are looking at a similar diagnosis and it is so encouraging to know that, while challenging, there is hope out there. Thank you!
A WONDERFUL HEART WARMING STORY OF GOD’S GRACE AND LOVE. GOD TRUELY EXTENDS THAT LOVE TO EACH OF US. MAY THIS STORY AND YOUR BOOK REACH OTHERS WHO SUFFERING FROM AUTISM. LOVE, MOM