Letting go of self-sabotage on the special needs journey It took my daughter Polly, who was born with Down syndrome, a long time to walk. When she was around two and a half years old, her physical therapist loaned us a stander; this wooden contraption that looked like it may have been used for torture at some point in the past, designed to strap kids in while standing upright to build muscle … [Read more...]
Pick Your Battles: when losing doesn’t have to mean loss
Parenting experts have been known to quip the phrase “pick your battles.” In my experience as a special needs parent, however, the problem isn’t just about which battles to fight, but knowing when it’s okay to lose. Long ago I surrendered the battle with my autistic sons over a healthy diet in favor of settling for almost anything that would keep my picky, OCD eaters alive and breathing. … [Read more...]
Jesus! (when all is not calm and bright)
What pictures fill your mind when you read the Christmas story? Maybe your mind is filled with the many nativity scenes decorating lawns and coffee tables. And all of them look so peaceful, don't they? Jesus gently lays in the hay, Mary looks fully recovered from labor and filled with joy, worshipers stand adoringly nearby and even the animals look clean and docile. No doubt there were peaceful … [Read more...]
When Life Is Not a Hallmark Card
It’s true. Misery loves company. And probably the reason one of my favorite shows is The Middle, a sitcom about the misadventures of a mid-western family not very unlike my own. Duct-taped appliances? Special needs teens and a seat-of-the-pants mother? Check. It’s a show that makes me laugh because the Hecks (or rather their script writers) “get it”. Life is a daily walk into the precarious … [Read more...]
Thanksgiving: Finding God in the turmoil of special needs parenting
My daughter once accused her older brother of opening his eyes during dinner prayer, not realizing, of course, she implicated herself in the process. Classic. But last week the violator of the “Super-Spiritual Guide to Prayer Protocol” wasn’t 10 years old, she was 49. Guilty as charged, I opened my eyes mid-prayer when a woman in my prayer group said a surprising thing: “Thank you, God, for the … [Read more...]
Where to Find God When God is Silent
In our family's journey with autism, there have been times when God has shown up in a big way: A miraculous provision. A tender word from a stranger that so perfectly comforted a stressful day. A breakthrough for Alec that we did not expect. These are the "walking on the water" days, when God's presence is so palpable that I am humbled to silence. On days like that, I know beyond a shadow of … [Read more...]