Guilt. It's what I felt every waking moment for the first two years of my son's life. I'd convinced myself it was my fault our son had suffered brain damage while I was pregnant. The truth is, a virus I had at a crucial time of development, changed Calvin's entire life. I remember walking through the grocery store with Calvin in my arms. He was six months old and looked like a newborn. He … [Read more...]
Teaching Empathy to Siblings
Last Christmas our son Calvin came with us to his sibling's school music program. The church was lit with bright lights; Calvin (very visually impaired) was thrilled that he could see something. He spent most of the time craning his neck backwards and flinging his arms in excitement. A few benches over a kid started laughing, “Why is he acting so weird? He keeps looking backwards.” Calvin's big … [Read more...]
Grief Gone Wrong
To say that grief is a sensitive thing is an understatement. And so when people try to enter in with a few words it's like touching an open wound. And often when people offer words to heal they can unintentionally poke painfully into our open wounds. So many of us are experts at analyzing those words, aren't we? Why they weren't helpful or how it was insensitive. The truth is people are often poor … [Read more...]
His Delight
We held the glowing cake in his line of remaining vision, behind him and to the left. Four candles flickered as the air swept currents of “Happy Birthday” notes swirling around our living room. Calvin’s eyes danced with excitement at the candles, his grandpa’s arms and the siblings crowded around. This fourth birthday was the first to see him alert and lively, not teetering on the brink of … [Read more...]
Crisis Survival for Parents
They say you can't get struck by lightning twice. They were wrong. We sat silently in the car during the long drive to the University of Michigan Hospital. We'd been in a terrific struggle of care and survival with our disabled son, Calvin, and were struggling to manage his care. All the while I kept noticing our other son, Noah, was not looking well and was complaining of leg pain constantly. … [Read more...]
Jesus! {When All Is Not Calm and Bright}
What pictures fill your mind when you read the Christmas story? Maybe your mind is filled with the many nativity scenes decorating lawns and coffee tables. And all of them look so peaceful, don't they? Jesus gently lays in the hay, Mary looks fully recovered from labor and filled with joy, worshipers stand adoringly nearby and even the animals look clean and docile. No doubt there were peaceful … [Read more...]