It's diapers at dawn and diapers at dusk. And a whole lot more in between. As a follower of Jesus, I didn't see this coming. This call to be a disciple of the mundane—changing diapers on a big kid, suctioning, stretching limbs, giving meds. Sometimes it crosses my mind—aren't there more lofty callings I'm equipped for? What about the other gifts God has given me? And then Calvin's alarm goes … [Read more...]
It Matters How You Live (with disability)
For those of us struggling to make sense of disability in our kid's lives, we rarely think of the opportunities we have because of disability. Sometimes all I've been able to see are the limitations and the sadness. I'd find myself longing for heaven, for the redemption of all sin and sorrow, so much I could hardly find a reason to go on here. And it didn't matter how many articles I'd read on … [Read more...]
Jesus! (when all is not calm and bright)
What pictures fill your mind when you read the Christmas story? Maybe your mind is filled with the many nativity scenes decorating lawns and coffee tables. And all of them look so peaceful, don't they? Jesus gently lays in the hay, Mary looks fully recovered from labor and filled with joy, worshipers stand adoringly nearby and even the animals look clean and docile. No doubt there were peaceful … [Read more...]
We See You, Calvin
November 24, 2014. You turned five while the rain sang on the windows and the sun hid its face. You were hidden too--seizures were fierce; we held you close as your body twitched and eyes stared wide. "Happy birthday!" and flaming candles filled the room, we guessed you'd want us to celebrate for you. What I want you to know, Calvin, is that we see you. All of us, dad and mom, your three … [Read more...]
Is Loss in His Plan? (Resources)
I was early to an appointment, for once. I pulled into a Bigby parking lot, grabbed my notebook and started writing. It was the early days of Calvin's diagnosis and medical struggles; pain poured out of me and I had nothing but prayer and my pen to sponge it up. Reading and writing became two major coping mechanisms for me and played a vital role in healing even though circumstances did not … [Read more...]
This Day
If you're anything like me, you've laid awake at night wondering what is going to happen with that precious little one of yours. It can taunt us, this unknown future. Will my boy ride a bike? Will he have friends? How am I going to give her care as I get older? Will she be loved? For a long time I obsessed with predicting just how much time we had left with our son Calvin. Images of … [Read more...]