My baby girl is having a major surgery tomorrow. Which means I'm being brave tomorrow. You see, bravery isn't bravado. It isn't arrogance. It isn't some evolved sort of inner strength that is only for a select few of us. True bravery is looking fear in the face and stepping forward anyway. This sort of bravery requires faith. Actually, I'd say it requires faiths, more than one. I … [Read more...]
What It Means To Be Independent
"She's never going to be independent." That's the fear I have, more often than I'd like, about my oldest daughter. Mostly it occurs to me when she's some combination of PMS/Bipolar and we have mornings like we did yesterday. Mornings when she's alternately weeping and giggling---in one breath accusing me of hating her and, in the next, begging me for pancakes. Here's what independent means … [Read more...]
Are You There God?
Often times when things are going good we don’t talk to God as much, but when things start to crumble we look to Him and often ask “why” or “how come.” My journey through life in my 46 years so far has had some ups, downs, curves, twists, turns, and sometimes sharp drops out of nowhere. I grew up primarily in a divorced home with 2 parents that were struggling in their own right. Before age … [Read more...]
praying through the start of the school year
Last year, I took pictures of my oldest daughter and shared a couple tidbits with the teacher as I dropped her off, but that was it. Our biggest concerns were if her best friend would be in her class (she was) and what she would wear on the first day of school (a frilly leopard print skirt with a kitty graphic tee, of course). This year was different. In the past year, our first son … [Read more...]
When Our Own Health Is In Crisis
Unexpected. That's what I say when people ask how my summer's been. Not that I don't expect seasons to cycle and summer to come and go each year. It's just that I didn't expect to go in for a routine appointment with my own doctor and discover, after a half-dozen scans and tests, that I've got a fast-growing fibroid that may be malignant growing in my uterus. Or that I'd spend the past few … [Read more...]
when the waves are too strong
Humbling. If I had to choose a word to define parenting - especially parenting children with special needs - humbling would be it. None of us likes to be humbled. Humility is not the top faith trait I usually aim for. Wisdom, faithfulness, love, integrity, compassion, contentment... all of those are preferred over humility, if I'm honest about what I want. But as a woman sorting through … [Read more...]