"Girl, you're too big to be held!" As I held our second youngest child in my arms, I watched my girl's expression change from one of joy to one of shame. Her eyes fell as she started to wiggle down. Strangers had made similar comments before, but she never appeared to be bothered by them until now. I kept on holding her, as my mind assembled a menu of possible responses. I could tell the … [Read more...]
Small Beginnings: A Story of Insurmountable Odds
Read below for a guest post from Ron Sandison. “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin.” - Zechariah 4:10 Ray and Reylene Starego felt a divine call to adopt an orphan who was a special-needs child. The moment Ray and his wife laid eyes on Anthony, they knew he was the child for them. Due to his severe disabilities, Anthony was able to speak only six … [Read more...]
Crucial Truth About Special Needs and Adoption
She turned thirteen this week. That's ten birthdays together. . . thousands of days and experiences since the day my oldest daughter moved into my home. On her birthdays, when I look through her baby pictures and reminisce, there is this gap. We've got just six pictures of her life from birth to 2 1/2 years. In those moments, the reality of loss, special needs and adoption feels so acute. Most … [Read more...]
A Letter To My Adopted Child’s Reactive Attachment Disorder
Dear Reactive Attachment Disorder, You are not my favorite person right now. In fact, you're a bully and I'm still waiting for you to move out of my house. You've bound my girl for ten years, already. Isn't that enough? Yes, you kept her alive for a short season. Yes, you helped her cope when life bounced her from home to home those first years. I get it. But ever since then, you've been a loud, … [Read more...]
This is what HIV looks like. #WorldAIDSDay #FacingAIDS
HIV isn't a big part of our lives. Sure, I write and speak about it a lot, but other than a few pills at 7:30am and a few more at 7:30pm, we're not constantly thinking about the virus that made three of my children orphans for a while and that still flows through the blood of one of them. But HIV isn't something you can see. We look like any other family, see? Okay, maybe we're not quite … [Read more...]
Am I a bad parent?
The hardest part for me about parenting a child with special needs is the insecurity. Insecurity. . . with professionals who seem to know so much more than I feel like I do with friends and family who secretly and not-so-secretly disagree on the reasons my adopted kids act the way they do. when I pick up the monthly slew of psychiatric meds at our pharmacy and fear what the 19 year … [Read more...]