There are many tools in the box of the special needs parent: humor in a crisis to help dry tears (not my forte), how-to books and hopeful stories to counter “what-if” fears, coffee to keep going after sleepless nights, and Cadbury’s chocolate for pretty much everything else. And prayer. Lots and lots of prayer. Until recently, I thought I knew how to pray. For example, I often use the Lord’s … [Read more...]
A RARE Kind of Love
There are so many things that caught me by surprise when I became a mother. I always knew I wanted to have children, but I was never really in touch with my expectations beyond that. I certainly never anticipated that I would become the mother of children with special needs. When our son burst joyfully into the world over 13 years ago, he instantly placed us in that role with the mere testing of … [Read more...]
At the End of Your Rope?
A letter from my 61-year-old self to my 35-year-old self: Dearest Kathy, I know you're scared. It’s been obvious from the beginning that something was not right with Joel’s development. Lack of oxygen during his birth, severe jaundice, an arrogant doctor who didn’t answer your questions and didn’t insist on hospitalization for the jaundice, floppy muscles, delayed developmental … [Read more...]
You’re Going To Be Okay
"We can’t selectively numb emotion. Numb the dark and you numb the light." - Brene Brown It's a truth I wanted to unwrite that night. Sinking down onto the kitchen floor, a mob of emotions clamoring for dominance inside me: Humiliation. Exhaustion. Anger. Fear. All I'd wanted was to get some exercise (I know, I know, What's that??!). To skate around the local lake with my kids and provide a … [Read more...]
The Certainty of Risk
Something redeeming happens when you admit your deepest hurts—you meet people. People become part of the healing. My son Max and I had a terrible experience when we went to the movies last month. Maybe you read about it. Max broke movie theater etiquette and was talking through the previews, laughing too loudly at Kermit. But there was more… he panicked a few times when the volume of the … [Read more...]
Finishing the Course
Two things converged recently that provided a moment of clarity. I don’t know about you but that seems to be much of the story for me. I will go along and go along and go along as if I am learning NOTHING and then clarity comes (or comes again) and I think, “Of course it is that way.” Our son finally achieved his Eagle Scout a week ago. He had worked on this goal since he started as a Cub Scout … [Read more...]