Beside his crib I watched him breathe, as each breath seemed his last; And in the darkness time stood still, yet moved so very fast. “Where is my faith, my trust, my hope? Where is this God of love?” “This is my son!” I quietly cried into the brass above. Strong yet helpless there I knelt and held his tiny hand; Wondering if the God of Jacob soon would make a stand. As dreams imagined … [Read more...]
The Secret in Not Knowing
Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” - John 14:5 Do you know what I most want right now? The details. "Sit me down, God," I pray, "Press some heavenly remote that lowers a screen from the clouds above—one big enough to make the guys at Best Buy cry with envy." This is my prayer..."God, would you light up that screen with an … [Read more...]
Believe It or Not!
"Whether you know it or not, people are watching you." Those words in a sermon from my pastor have resonated with me for years. We parents raising children with special needs are sadly accustomed to uncomfortable stares or looks of disdain directed at our cherished children. It may be painful to endure the gawking of others, but it also gives us a unique platform to reach others. In … [Read more...]
Gambling on God’s Grace
Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. This quote by the theologian Soren Kierkegaard speaks to my heart as Joel’s mom. Joel is the youngest of my three sons. A handsome young man of twenty-eight, Joel has autism and moderate intellectual disabilities. God meets me daily on this mothering journey, enabling me to let go of future fears and past regrets—empowering … [Read more...]
Who Else Wants Their Joy Back?
What does joy mean to you? And how do you know if you've got it? These are questions a fresh wave of challenges with my 10-year-old have pressed on my mind. As I wrestle to have more joy in the struggles---and to recognize it when it's there---I'm finding it's different than I used to think. For me, joy is relief. It's cool grace over a searing heart. It's letting go of heavy burdens. And it's … [Read more...]
The God Who Goes Before You
Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the sight of all Israel, “Be strong and courageous, for you shall go with this people into the land that the Lord has sworn to their fathers to give them, and you shall put them in possession of it. It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:7-8) I … [Read more...]