We’re told not to worry, but what about the big stuff? If I had more closet space, I’d probably fill it with my anxieties. Maybe I’m just expressing my inner Woody Allen, or feeling the plight of single motherhood. But sometimes I wish I had someone to help me with the really big stuff in life. The weight of responsibilities can press against me until I begin to feel like a 90 year-old … [Read more...]
tripping over the “I don’t know”s in special needs parenting
Lately I've been peppered with questions I can't answer. From a friend: "Will she walk on her own?" From a fellow parent at our school: "Will she be able to come here too?" From a leader at our church: "How will this next therapy or surgery help?" From myself: "Will we be able to afford everything she needs?" From our babysitter: "Will she be able to talk more soon?" I … [Read more...]
Surrender
“I can teach you how to fly." Those were the words, spoken to me in a dream last year, by a wise woman I call “Macrina/Judi.” Macrina is Macrina Weiderkehr, an author who has accompanied me on my spiritual journey for the past ten years. And Judi is Judi Dench, the actress. In this particular dream, I knew the person speaking to me was Macrina, but she had the face and voice of Judi … [Read more...]
For When You Feel Like A Bad Parent
She sat there, big blue eyes brimming with tears, lip quivering. My five year old and I'd been sitting on the couch, reviewing her kindergarten sight words. She was having trouble sitting still, I had trouble giving grace. Why is it a struggle to teach my youngest child something so simple? Maybe it's because I've done the "prep for kindergarten" routine with her three older siblings … [Read more...]
Battle in the Basement
The morning had been going so well. It was a Sunday morning and we had to be at church early for rehearsal since I was on praise team. Everyone was getting ready to leave without much difficulty, except for my poor husband. The dog had been let out for a minute, but it was raining. He came inside when Kyle called him, and then promptly shook his whole body. Kyle's pants were now splattered in mud, … [Read more...]
It Is Written
Yesterday was a very bad day. And it had very little to do with it being overcast, cold and wet. (Although that didn’t help.) It had to do with several phone calls that resulted in having to bring home my oldest son after an alarming conversation he’d had with the school social worker, followed by another 20-minute phone call from another teacher reporting a bullying incident she witnessed … [Read more...]