Forgiveness. It seems like a 1,000-pound bench press, a crushing load, impossibly heavy to lift. But forgiveness isn’t a one-time heft above our heads to declare our spiritual duty done. It’s more like a marathon. (Or, for those like me, who shudder at the thought of running a 5K, it’s more like a really, really long-distance stroll—preferably with a coffee in hand.) But whether you … [Read more...]
On Labor and Letting Go
It has been over two weeks since I delivered my firstborn. No, this delivery did not come after 24 hours of labor. On the contrary, it came after 18 years. We delivered him to college and drove away. 14 hours away, to be precise. The drive home was remarkably quiet. And reflective. I haven’t written about this yet because I have been processing this whole transition. This is huge. We are so … [Read more...]
Have Allergies, Will Travel
Our son had been in NICU only a few days when we began to suspect he was allergic to milk. What led to the suspicion? Whenever the breast milk I'd pumped had to be supplemented with formula, his breathing grew wheezy, he ran a fever, and was fussy. The trend continued–not an easy one to resolve during the early months when he was tube fed and my breast milk was a precious commodity–for … [Read more...]
Sleeping With Your Makeup On
I slept with my makeup on last night, breaking all the good hygiene rules. O.k., for those who do this all the time, my apologies. But I literally cannot ever remember doing it. Ever. Not in my teens, my college days, the four years of law school while working full time, the early mothering period with two toddlers, the chaos after our son’s diagnosis… never. I slept with my makeup on … [Read more...]
Snooze Buttons, Train Wrecks and Finding Joy
It was pretty clear by the time I hit the snooze button for the fifth time. I didn’t want to get out of bed. Then words from Hebrews 12:2 I had read the day before came to mind: “For the joy set before him, he endured the cross.” I lay there, wondering, what is the joy set before me? What can give me such hope that I can endure mornings when I just don’t want to face another teen intervention, … [Read more...]
Disabilities and Differences
I really struggle with this distinction. For years I repulsed at the idea of labeling my son “disabled.” It went against everything I believed about God’s sovereignty and goodness and the dignity of each individual. My principles tell me to think in terms of “differences” not “disabilities.” But then I run into the reality of laws. In order to receive accommodations, whether in school through an … [Read more...]