It's here again. The anniversary of the day my world turned upside down. The birthday of our firstborn. The day my heart swelled with a fierce, intense, permanent love. The day my heart broke. The day the doctor said, "There's something wrong with your baby." That day is here again. The anniversary of the decision my husband and I made 34 years ago. Would we cling to God when our newborn … [Read more...]
Not HOW but WHY
How many times have you and I have been asked, “HOW DO you do it?” We’d be rich if we had a dime for every time we’ve been asked that … right? Here is how I used to answer: Oh, the Lord gives me strength, just when I need it. We all learn to do what we’ve been called to do. You do what ya gotta do. Who else is going to do it? (Ok, that has a little attitude attached, can you … [Read more...]
Stuck On Repeat (The Special Needs Repetition)
* Some names have been changed. You know why. Almost every day my husband purposely sings a song with the intention of getting the tune stuck on repeat in my head. It's usually something obscure and fairly terrible. (Shhh. Don't tell him I secretly find this endearing.) With the exception of Friday. On Friday I can count on him waking the whole house with Rebecca Black's fabulous and memorable … [Read more...]
7 Ways Special Needs Have Made Me a Wealthy Mother
Since I was a little girl, I had a fierce desire to become a mother. I could not necessarily articulate the reasons why I had this burning aspiration within me, but it was relentlessly rooted. I can even recall my classmates laughing at me in second grade when I gave my simple answer to the teacher's what we wanted to be when we grew up inquiry, "I just want to get married some day and be a … [Read more...]
I Wasn’t Given a Mom Manual
I remember being in high school and I had to take a health class. You know the one where you had to carry around an egg for a week to see if you can take care of a baby. One class, I remember had to carry a doll baby that cried every time you put it down. That was brutal to watch my friends do that. Well, you just read about all the training I had to be a mother. Yes, that is right, I had … [Read more...]
When the Disability’s Not So “Bad”
I feel guilty about a very strange thing. Not about something I’ve done, but about something I was given. Today, I want to hold my hand up and shield people from paying attention to this part of my life; here, in this particular community of parents who struggle daily with special needs, and never-ending vigilance. A few codes in our neurologist’s office indicate I’ve every right to be among you … [Read more...]