This week I'm visiting the vast, remote South Dakota country where we lived when our son was born. I'm driving on roads that look like they stretch out forever over miles and miles of short grass prairie in a county with more pronghorn antelope than people per square mile. Each day, I fight an irrational urge to travel the long miles between the tiny town of Camp Crook, where I am staying, and … [Read more...]
Make Lattes, Not War
Forgiveness. It seems like a 1,000-pound bench press, a crushing load, impossibly heavy to lift. But forgiveness isn’t a one-time heft above our heads to declare our spiritual duty done. It’s more like a marathon. (Or, for those like me, who shudder at the thought of running a 5K, it’s more like a really, really long-distance stroll—preferably with a coffee in hand.) But whether you … [Read more...]
That Feeling You Never Let Yourself Feel
We sat in the car, inching forward in traffic that stretched miles ahead of us. My tween daughter turned on the radio. "Not that station!" I protested internally, but said nothing. She pulled out a granola bar and started eating (by which, I mean she ate 1/2 and ejected the crumbs from the rest around the seat). I looked over, tried to breathe away the annoyed reaction to her mess... Then I saw … [Read more...]
He Won’t Remember: Children & PTSD
Some things parents never forget. Like the first time a mother holds her newborn child. Or the first time a baby belly laughs at a father's antics. But when I think of our son's early days, one unpleasant memory comes to mind. Our baby's wince of pain when the nurse took him–bristling with drainage tubes, feeding tubes, IVs, and monitor wires–and placed him in his daddy's arms. Newborns Don't … [Read more...]
When You Realize You Need Closure
It's not been a typical elementary school era with my oldest. But then, you probably understand that. You're here. We braved kindergarten, making friends, navigating the cafeteria, and learning to read. We managed her first psychiatrist appointment, diagnosis of bipolar w/ADHD on top of her RAD, and discovered this thing called an IEP meeting. Since second grade we've requested, evaluated, and … [Read more...]
When Your Life Is Too Uncomfortable For Others…
The last few months my son has really been struggling. He's dealing with multiple issues that he has had since he was young...and short of divine intervention, this will not be the last time that he deals with these issues, I am sure. Like many of your children, he has co-morbid conditions and multiple diagnosis'...some of them are more accepted than others. He has autism and that is something … [Read more...]